Content-type: text/html Ray Manning

Monday, December 19, 2005 8:00 AM

Blah!


On Monday I lift weights before work and have a semi-productive day at Northrop Grumman. After work I go for an hour walk before grabbing a quick dinner of vegetables, salsa, lowfat chips, and diet Coke. I have a 30 minute conversation with Person A_B as we discuss his political asylum case as well as other things in life. He seems to have been cheered up from the conversation.

On Tuesday I'm lazy so I just go to work and hope to get in session with the weights later. I leave work early to meet another batrhoom contractor and after she leaves I do get in a high repetition, low weight session on the the pull muscle group. After dinner I hop on the motorcycle for the Tuesday night ResourceScout meeting. It's interesting to here that Los Angeles Country Department of Children and Family Services, who refused our offer of a family/child matching program for a small amount of money, has been working on the effort for almost two years now and can't duplicate our program. Ruby wants to re-approach the county, but I insist that we let them continue to squirm and struggle until they come to us. Is this the right strategy?

On Wednesday I leave work a shade early to take the motorcycle in for a tuneup. As the service manager is writing up the work order I see my bus go buy. So after the work order is written up I start walking in the direction of the bus and I walk for 35 minutes before I stop at a bus bunch and wait for the 128. And then I transfer to the Long Beach 7 which takes me within a few blocks of home. At least I've got in a good walk for the day (with backpack on my back and helmet in my hand).

On Thursday and Friday I get in good high repetition, low weight sessions lifting weight. On both days I also have to deal with bad traffic in the car. How do people live like this everyday? It takes about an hour to get home on Thursday and only some creative detours gets me home in 40 minutes on Friday.

Late on Friday Person C_T comes over and we watch a DVD "Heights". It's a bit disappointing for both of us, but we still sorta enjoy it.

On Saturday I'm up late and I stay in bed even later just to rest and elax during this flu season. Almost everyone in my building has the flu and I want to avoid getting sicj during my Christmas vacation like last year). Thus after the extra rest and relaxation I get out for the aquarium ride. It's windy and chilly but it's fun nonetheless. After a shower and lunch prepared by Person C_T, Person C_T drops me off at the motocycle dealer and he heads off to work. After getting the bike from its tuneup I ride over to work at Northrop Grumman and have a productive few hours. The extra time will come in handy as I try to get a head start on the week and also anticipate flexible hours during the week.

I'm having a difficult time lately as I've sunk into a slightly depressed state. On Saturdy afternoon I get out for a long walk with the mp3 player loaded with my favorite techno and trance music. One of my favorite songs comes on and the lyrics don't quite help right now:

Just when I think on my own
When I've broken every door
The ghosts of my life
Are louder than before
Just when I thought I could not be stopped
When my chance came true
The ghosts of my life
They bring up memories
All my time, all my tears

After phone calls with Person C_T and Person T_U throughout the day, it comes time to decide whether to go out clubbing tonight or not. Seeing that additional people have not called and seeing that it is flu season and I'm trying to practively avoid a repetition of last year's Christmas vacation flu, I end up in bed just after 9pm to read and get to sleep early.

On Sunday I get up at a reasonable hour and go for a 40 minute walk that entails the purchase of the Los Angeles Times. I relax and read the newspaper for a while before I head out for some shopping. Besides the ATM stop, I hit three stores for shopping and I'm back at hme before 11 am. Before noon I head out for the aquarium ride. It's not as windy today and it's a good ride until another cyclist passes me. Seeing that I'm on the wide, low pressure tires of the mountain bicycle and the other rider is on narrow, high pressure road bike tires, he passes me and goes off into the distance. I let him get about 100 meters in front of me and then I start cranking along to maintain the gap and then, slowly, close the gap. Unfortunately I get back to Del Amo before I'm able to close the gap down to less than 25 meters, but at least he got me cranking along quite nicely. After the ride I do a few minutes of backyard cleanup effort, grab a nice warm shower, and relax some more with the newspaper in hand and the football games playing.

On Sunday I continue to drink plenty of fluids, rest, and take extra Vitamin C in order to stave off the flu. A lot of people at work have been sick and I'm trying to avoid being sick during Christmas vacation again (like last year). Thus I am in bed before 9pm for some reading and the lights go off for sleep before 10 pm.

I'm just sleeping away - dead to the world - until I wake up screaming. I'm having a bad dream where I'm the bad guy, I'm about to do something bad to someone involving a knife, and I'm screaming to the police to stop me. I can hear myself screaming as I wake up and try to figure out where I am. It is 11 pm. It has been an hour of very deep sleep and a very vivid dream. But now I cannot fall back asleep. I get up and watch television for a couple of hours and try to sleep aagin. But to no avail. So I sit up and read for a while and thent ry to sleep again. Again to no avail. So I get up and surf the Internet until 3 am. And try to sleep again.