On Monday I leave work and lift weights to go on top of the morning run. On this session with the weights I venture into the unknown with heavier weights than I've ever lifted before. It seems a bit easier than it should. I follow this up with a long trance-induced walk and then I relax to SUnday's tape of "Boston Legal". The two cases, one a deathrow case and one a nymphomaniac case, get me thinking of my own life. And I make a call to Ruby and, after talking with her about resourcescout and the Tuesday meeting, I talk to her about things. I feel a bit better for the remainder of the evening. Later I call Person D_P - someone that I have not spoken with since about September. It is only meant as a social call and we agree to talk again soon.
The Tuesday morning bicycle commute is postponed late on Monday as I get called to a Monday afternoon offsite meeting (that I'll have to drive to) as well as due to the threat of rain.
On Tuesday morning I get out for a 6 mile run before work. In the midst of the run, as I'm deep in thought about the problems in my life right now, I look up to see that I am lost. It takes me a few minutes to realize where I am. I kept expecting to come to two major street intersections and it turns out that I already passed them. I certainly hope there weren't any cars coming when I obviously ran through them. As I'm finishing off the run a man in the neighborhood is finishing walking his dog. And he stops and says, "Pretty exciting, huh?" I don't know what he's talking about, but he continues with, "It was probably 50 FBI officers in black helmets who silently stormed that house one block over. I bet it was drugs. And I bet they've lost the house and everything now." I guess it happened during the run.
I barely make it to the Tuesday night resourcescout meeting because traffic is so heavy. The rain - as usual - wrecking havoc on people's driving abilities.
On Wednesday morning I get in a reasonable session with the weights before work. I lift heavy again, but some exercise repititions are down. I don't know if it's because its a morning session or because of incomplete recovery from Monday. I lift in the morning because I want the flexibility to go play after work without needing the time for lifting.
On Wednesday I leave work a bit early and go for an hour long walk to relieve stress. Afterwards I grab a few magazines from the reading pile (Scientific American, Dwell, and Wired for those who are interested.) and head to a coffeehouse in downtown Long Beach. I used to come here often with a laptop computer or reading material and just hang out (and be productive). I get some diet Coke and a cookie (to go with the fruit bars that I brought) and get a lot of reading done. I decide to pack up and head home a bit early.
Thursday is finally the bicycle commute. Though it is supposed to rain today, I just don't care anymore. The ride to work is good and after a warm, soapy shower, I am enlivened by the first swallow of ice cold diet Coke to go with an orange and some fruit bars.
The rain starts on the bicycle ride home and by about halfway I am very wet. So wet, in fact, that I start aiming for water puddles because I'm having fun! But then the roads dry as I get closer to home and I don't have any more puddles. When I get home there is a package from my former tennis doubles partner. He has sent me 5 DVDs to watch. Seeing that life has been very weird lately, I do something that I would not normalyl do - I open up the first DVD of "Bottle Rockets" and watch it. It is a very strange movie and I'm not sure what it means. But just to make it "over the top" bizarre, a song towards the end is the Rollings Stones "2000 Man". And this is just plain too much as that was one of our favorite LSD songs a long time ago and I hadn't heard it for 15 years. I do not know what to think of this situation.
Later in the day I start adding up the number of people who have expressed, disappointmnet, frustration, anger, or other such feelings and thoughts towards me in the last 7 days: Person C_T, Person L_V, Person G, and Person T*.
The Friday away from Northrop Grumman is a good and productive day. I'm up early to lift weights and wash the motorcycle. The session with the weights is good though a couple lifts are down on repetitions. I then go and trim two bushes in the front yard and mow/edge/trim the front yard and back yard. After a shower I'm off to four stores - Macys, Home Depot, Big 5 Sports, and Vons - to do some shopping. By about noon I'm back at home and relaxing for a short bit. Only during the shopping at Vons when an old sad song comes on do I start thinking of my problems. But I re-focus and concentrate on what needs to be done. Near 1pm I head out for the aquarium ride though there are no standing water puddles for me to splash through today. Towards the end of the ride I am just plain dead - I have no blood sugar and I'm coming off two rides the previous day. So I get home, take a quick shower, and do what needs doing - I have a veggie burrito and macho french fries at del taco!
Later I wax the motorcycle and the rims of the motorcycle. And then I get out for a long walk. By now I am ready for the day to end, so I take two Kava root extract tablets and relax for the remainder of the evening until I drop off to sleep.
On Saturday I get out for a 5.5 mile run before working at cleaning up the roses and doing the laundry. After relaxing for a while I get out for a mid-day bicycle ride around the aquarium and back. With trance/techno temporarily replaced with thump radio, I take two minutes off a standard time. When I return home I lay out in the sun for a few minutes before tackling a sprinkler repair in the backyard.
Later I get out for a long walk to the ATM to deposit a check. And this time I remember to bring the correct ATM card. As I'm walking home I pass a liquor store that I have used in the past and I walk right past (not that I had any money anyway). As I cross the street I stop in my tracks and pray, "Oh God, please let me get through this without going back to heroin...or worse." When I get home I am tired, so I put in another DVD that my tennis partner sent me. I don't understand this one at all and am glad when I'm interrupted by Person T_U. Neither of us commit to going out, so I return to the DVD and ask, "What's the point?" when it's done.
On Sunday I get out for an early morning aquarium ride and then get redy for church. This time I am prepared as I take a handfull of Kleenex with me. Before the mass starts a guy sits next to me and I think that I have met him before, though he doesn't seem to recognize me. This is good. And in the midst of mass I see Person A_P going up for communion. This reminds me that I owe Person A_P a phonecall.
I rush home, change clothes, drop off chocolate Easter bunnies with Mom and Dad and the kids, and head out for inline skating by the ocean. I take the first 35 minutes easy as I've only been on the inline skates once this year. But on the stretch back towards the pier I feel the stride coming back and I see a number of people just stare at my legs in mid-stride - a thing of power and beauty - and I can only say aloud, "Sorry - they're committed to someone already."
After skating I stop in at the grocery store for food. I look up and see a lady with the eyes of someone that I should not be thinking of. And I panic. I get out of the store as quick as I can and I find myself going 80 mph west on Del Amo. And I have to say, "Ray, take a deep breath and slow down. You have 2.5 miles to get home and you can break down then."